Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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