apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mom said you looked used
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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