What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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