im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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