i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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