; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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