im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
