I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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