I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
