Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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