I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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