Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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