I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize