do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
