so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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