he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
