there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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