jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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