I accidentally had phone sex last night
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
