4 words: hood of his car
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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