So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
