Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
