Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
