I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
