you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
