WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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