do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
