You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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