absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
