This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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