there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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