that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
