Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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