i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize