I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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