can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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