Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
