im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
