Buhtt sex?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
