She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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