You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
