Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
