For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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