She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
