Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
