wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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