that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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