hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
