One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Green mimosas i think yes
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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