I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
