Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
