i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
