I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
