what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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