Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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