Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
