I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
True college students do jello shots in the library
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
